On those sleepless nights in moon cast shadows

       when sordid thoughts sneak up

	                                             creep up

make you jump up

        and scream

	                   it's a bad dream

	                                              but I'm awake

and long for merciful sleep to take

	         me away for heaven's sake

but my faith has gone away

		                      gone astray

       and God has damned me to hell

                   in my head

	                  as I squirm in my bed

and think what I should have said

      should have done

             shouldn't have done

	         why the hell did I do this or that

a thousand unanswered questions to perplex

                                 and my conscience elects

to punish me some more

      over and over...

             like a scratchy broken record

	         playing l-o-u-d-e-r than shit

and then the sun comes up and it...

		                        is a new day

        with birds singing

                 alarm clocks ringing

	              cars swishing by

carrying their sleepy drivers to some mundane job

                 with a fucked-up boss

                           whose got bad breath

	                          that smells like death...warmed over...

and over and over

	                     this process continues (pussy and money)

as the world spins around

          and the sun slowly burns itself out

                              I shout...

get me out!  out of this crazy condition

	                      this...mental malnutrition

this thing called life

                this endless frustration

	                     this...mental masturbation

'cause I'm so tired of living

                  but so afraid of dying

                                 and...crying

for who knows what or why

      if I could just curl up and die...

                               or maybe...change my medication.