We are in receipt of your ridiculous letter of April 6th and the outrageous bill of $4,363.63. I have advised my client to thumb his nose at you, especially in light of recent developments with Master Buster Duncan.

On April 7, 1999 at 9:30 a.m. Buster Rumbelly passed away. He had been distraught over the episode at your eatery and had taken to playing with matches. It seems that he ignited one of his emissions and blew himself to Kingdom Come. There was considerable damage done to the Rumbelly home but both Capt. and Mrs. Rumbelly escaped with minimal injuries (Capt. Rumbelly has a slight 3rd degree burn on his penis).

Taking all of the above into consideration, we are willing to desist in bringing charges against you and will not file in a civil court of law if you tear up the bill for damages and air pollution at your restaurant. Though Capt. Rumbelly will not be having sex for some time, he is willing to forget the whole thing if you are willing to give him one free beer (Bud).

I hope that this can be resolved in a friendly and expedient manner. Please respond at your earliest convenience. Failure to respond quickly will result in a gnarly and costly legal battle. We mean business, mister!

Yours truly,



Richard "Dick" Rheam, Esq.

P.S.
Are you related to Garry Moore, the "funny man"? Could you get me an autograph if he is still kicking? Thanks.