BOB'S CABIN
P.O. BOX 1955
PAGOSA SPRINGS, CO 81147

RE: Buster's Birthday Dinner

Dear Sir,

Last Saturday night my wife and I took our son, Buster, to your wonderful restaurant. We were celebrating his eleventh birthday! We rarely take Buster to public places because of his problem, but we felt that since he had done well at school and had cleaned his room, that he deserved a fun birthday treat.

My wife and I ordered the dinner salad and Buster ordered the "Three Bean" salad. While our salads were being served the waitress commented about a funny odor and made a face. Our son blushed and put his head down.

You see, Buster, has an affliction called Rapid Gas Syndrome or R.G.S (it is genetic and there is no known cure; extremely smelly). People don't understand the mental anguish and pain that our Buster goes through every day dealing with unkind people who make fun, laugh or run away from him. His emissions are completely spontaneous and he has absolutely no control over his gas or sometimes his bowels.

It is mandatory, by State law, that he wear special "filtered" diapers at all times. We have taken the initiative of installing an automatic air-freshener on the back of his belt. It sprays a decent gust every 30 seconds. Unfortunately, people also laugh at the sound of the air-freshener. Ironically, it is there for their own good!

By the time our main courses arrived people nearby were laughing and pointing fingers at our little Buster. He had one bite of his bean burrito and let loose with the loudest and greasiest fart that I ever heard come out of him. People were screaming and holding their noses. Behind my wife's gas-mask, I could see tears in her eyes!

Just then, you and your crude staff started chanting: "No more gas!! No more gas!!" Well, my friend, that did it. Buster bolted for the door but was deliberately tripped by a laughing patron. The impact of Buster hitting the floor caused his bowels to let loose and his "filtered" diaper exploded. Several people vomited but more insensitive people laughed uncontrollablly.

I had had enough! I stood up and threw off my gas-mask. I shouted at your clientele that they should be ashamed of themselves and that they were a bunch of low class morons! My wife and I picked up our little boy and ran to our car.

Sir, I refuse to pay for that ill-fated dinner and I demand a written apology in the PAGOSA SPRINGS SUN. In the future I hope you and your people show some compassion for those inflicted with this terrible condition - R.G.S.

Thank you for your time. I just wanted to clear the air.

Sincerely,

DC RUMBELLY

P.S. We were planning on dining at Bob's Cabin with my mother-in-law, Gussie, who has R.G.S. and B.O. but you can forget that!!